1. Work with people for a long term

Taking any action, always think about what effect it will have on your long-term relationships with people. Anyway sooner or later they will know your true motives.

What happens if a person learns the true motives of your actions? It will continue to work with you or not? What did he say to his colleagues, friends, classmates about you? That you can work or they do not need?

People work very differently when they see that you have with them have a common future, and you build it honestly. At the same time the basis for building a common future is meaningless.

2. Give people the meaning

People want to see the sense in what they are doing.

In Nazi concentration camps was torture when the prisoners were forced to carry water in a barrel without a bottom. This torture very strong spirit broken people.

Important for people to make sense of what they are doing. If it makes no sense, then sooner or later begin to work to oppress.

The problem is that the institute did not learn to find meaning in their work. Help a person find meaning in your work together – the foundation of your relationship.

However, to find a sense is not a simple task because all people are different

3. Consider the differences

People differ in their psycho. Some come up with high-level concepts, others think on the level of detail. One need perspective, other specifics. For ones – important not to offend people, for others – important to decide quickly.

People differ from one to another: and psycho, and motivational factors. Moreover, people change over time.

4. Consider internal changes

Just yesterday, leaving the institution, people wanted to do something big. And here goes 10 years, have a family, kids, car, mortgage – and it is important not only to do something big, how to be able to spend a lot of time with children.

You need to consider the difference in psycho and motivational factors and in communicating with the search for meaning and for the people.

Someone will not be easy, with someone unpleasant, but one should always remember that the actions of people always have a positive intention.

5. Seek positive intention

Everybody wants to achieve something good. When a mom yells at the shop on a crying child, “Stop yelling!”. The mom has a positive intention. She wants the child to calm down, stop crying, stop disturb others.

However, in this case, a mother chooses an inefficient way of feedback reports, as a cry. Because people always look for the best available choice they think they have.

6. Understand the nature of the actions

As they can, they act. If your co-worker turns on sabotage, it does not mean that he is bad. People disagree with something, but he expresses his disagreement like this. Why so? Because, obviously, they found this the best way. Apparently, his experience confirms this. It is not necessary to re-educate him (at least right now).

7. Solve problems, not look for the guilty

Any situation with people at work (even the most difficult) – not about a problem with people, but about working situations. You can not make the assembly, to send a report to develop a prototype. Solve these situations. People are much more likely to decide to solve the problem than help you assign them as guilty.

8. Do it in time

Problem should be solved when it needs in its time. If you come to a man with the words: “Why did you do it yesterday,” he begins to defend and calls for at least five reasons why it happened.

What was yesterday – in itself, is neither good nor bad. It has already happened, it’s history. And there is no fix.

However, yesterday’s story may create some problem in the present. And it must be solved. And when it is solved, we can look into the future as we would make sure that such situations will not happen again. Here we look at yesterday in search of reasons, but people will not feel guilty about doing it – in this problem has been solved.

9. Do not look for the problem in the nature of man, look to the circumstances

Ready to talk, remember that we are always a little inclined to excuse ourselves and hang all the dogs on the other.

If we’re late for a meeting, then this always blame circumstances: traffic jams, transport, .. If someone else is late, we will automatically put the stamp on it: not punctual person.

The actions of people other than the intention has always circumstances and context, which we do not see.

10. Seek external cause

People may be doing something wrong in one of four reasons:

1. They can understand what you want them to do differently.

2. People may not be able to do this, but honestly mistaken that they can.

3. People can not do it (lack of time, or any other resources)

4. People do not want to do it (do not see the point, you do not like them personally, etc.)

Do not start with the last reasons – first, make sure that the first three is not there.

11. Think, but do not think out: look for facts

Ready to talk with the man, do not carry value judgments – most likely, you do not know the circumstances and context of why people behaved so.

Look for facts, prepare arguments that would show that the situation poses a problem – you or another person. Do not think out too much before speaking. A difficult conversation better five bad thoughts.

Fact – this is about what a question, “What does this mean?” Sounds stupid. “We have five employees in the team” – a fact. “We falls motivation” – not a fact.

And most importantly, when dealing with people, remember that:

People change their pattern of behavior, when they realize that it is counter-constructive their goals.

12. Help to change

In order to change the behavior of another person, we need to show that the chosen path, the selected pattern of behavior does not bring man to his purposes. And to show it, you need to understand that people in general want for what meaning he goes to work. Understand him and to show that his current behavior does not lead to this.

Instead of a conclusion: Do not hope for the best – work with people!

This wise words originally written in Russian on